[...]In Memory of our Friend Stillpink | Raglan Shire! It’s intense![...]…

Adam, your mother was so great…

It’s been over a year now since my mother’s passing and yet I can only now bare coming back here to finally express my feelings for the people she came to love and cherish so much. While I did have some knowledge of the relationships she developed through Alamak Chat, Active Worlds or Second Life, I could never begin to understand the type of affect she had on so many people. I only knew her as my amazing mother who would do anything for her son and constantly broke her back to give us the best life she could.

Yes, her personality both in Real Life and Second Life was infectious. She possessed the ability to state her opinion, make you question your own, and give you a hug… all in the same sentence. She was amazing. She once told me a story of how she went to a party in her 20’s (5’10” model like build, red hair and gorgeous) and how she noticed a guy that seemed semi-stalker-like continually eyeing her down. As the night was closing down and enough liquid courage in the tank… he finally came up to her, and said “Oh, you just think you are so perfect don’t you!?!? Look! You have a mole right there… *pointing to her face* She simply paused, looked back at him, removed the fake mole that she put on just hours before and said “No, but maybe now…” As she flicked it at him and walked away.

With a wit that belonged on a talk show and the brains to do anything she wanted. She chose a stable career. One that would allow her to feed her family but that wouldn’t be too demanding to miss the important moments. Even at a young age I realized that it wasn’t material or status that made her happy, but family. Just creating, sharing and experiencing moments together. At a young age I once asked her “Mom, why do you spend time talking to people you may never meet.” She told me, “Son, just because I may never meet them, doesn’t mean I can’t have a blast with them, cry with them and feel them.”

So, when I read your kind words and I hear you say these beautiful things about her. Know, that I feel you. Know that the mere fact such a woman existed should give us all hope. Hope that some people out there still find joy in the little things. Hope that some people are willing to give more than they receive. Hope that while rare, this world is capable of producing spirits such as hers.

While I may never meet you, may never laugh with you or cry with you, my mother did. You shared time with her, experienced her energy and her warmth, her sass and personality. Whether if it was only a moment or through the years, you brought joy to her life. And for that, I love you.

I meet Stillpink at BusyBen Vehicle Sandbox, and she helped me at the beginning of the game, and she was lovely, one Pink Princess, who helped out everybody, when any problem was, she helped, when i had crying, she bring me Smile on my face, I MISS YOU STILL ! :(

W

I feel a need to share this with the few people who can perhaps understand. Of my RL family and friends, there are maybe four who could understand this.

All my life, death has not really affected me. I always viewed it as just a part of our path. Even at my parent’s death I wasn’t sad, because we had a mutual understanding: we would meet again. To me, death has always been a temporary thing… like having family clear across the country that you seldom see, but still care about. I’ve never really viewed death as an issue, never worried about it, even when it comes to consideration that some day I myself will face such. Forgive my waxing religious, but Paul said, “Death, where is thy sting?” He knew death is not the end, but rather the beginning. So I guess I kind of viewed it as Paul did. Just another rotten thing that happens, then it gets better. No problem.

But this time was different. I don’t really know why. Perhaps it’s because it came out of nowhere. One day Stillpink was there. The next, she was gone. I didn’t know she was ill. She kept it from most of her friends, not wishing to burden us with her situation. She didn’t want to be treated special. She just wanted to enjoy her remaining days as she’d come to love them. The last I remember of Stillpink was a very short time ago. She was bright, cheerful, and dancing with the rest of us. Then she wasn’t.

I never knew her personally. I have no idea where she lived or anything about her “real” life. All that I know is that she was regularly gracious, gentle, happy and cheerful. Stillpink had a wonderful sense of humor and reacted to such in ways that only “Tinies” can react… with total abandon and insanity. From Riverdancing to showing off her latest garment acquisitions– always pink — Stillpink was a lovely person.

I have no idea what she looked like in real life. I don’t care. I don’t know her RL interests, family ties. I don’t know for a certainty who she really was, because no one comes across in VR worlds as they really are. We all put on a persona, a facade that we present to others. But I imagine in her case, her VR personality wasn’t all that different from her real one. It’s hard to fake that kind of cheerfulness and charm.

Stillpink passed unexpectedly, without a word except to her closest loved ones– who by her wishes kept her condition secret from everyone else. Her passing was a shock to the community who knew her. To my great regret I missed her Raglan memorial. I was not aware she’d passed. I was busy and tied up as we so often get. But from what I heard, more than sixty tinies marched along a path of pink pentunia petals to the gathering area. I’m told the live-voice remembrance conducted by Zayn was in no way “artificial”. One cannot hide being choked up over a live microphone. Everyone knew how he felt. Artificial representation or not, caricature or not, this was the loss of a real person, a kindred spirit, someone we had come to love.

I tend to be aloof. I never told Stillpink how much I enjoyed her portrayal of that tiny tiger cub. We so much take people for granted. We just quietly appreciate them, seldom saying so out loud. We too often fail to say what is on our minds. In truth, I didn’t even really know how much I’d come to care for Still. But when I heard she had passed, I found out. Because when I heard that she was gone, for the first time in my life, at great surprise to me, something that didn’t even happen for my own parents… for the loss of my special friend that I hadn’t even realized until that moment was a special friend… I wept most sadly.

There are few I could confide in about this, few that might understand. Thank you for letting me share this with you.

I miss Stillpink Sandgrain… and whoever it was behind her. I will continue to miss her for quite some time…. until we meet again.